The Peace of Wild Things

My professor read this poem to us this week and I really liked it. A friend told me recently that I worry too much and that I shouldn't pollute my life so much with worries about things that, 90% of which, aren't even going to happen. So, I'm trying to cure myself of my addiction to worry. I thought this poem related well. It's called "The Peace of Wild Things:"

When despair grows in me
and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

  -- Wendell Berry 

I believe Heavenly Father wants us to be happy. As expressed in the Book of Mormon "men are that they might have joy." Heavenly Father has given us everything and has given us this beautiful Earth, all for the intent that we might have joy. So, it's important to recognize the blessings he's given us and to look forward to the future with confidence that things will work out well in the end regardless of the unhappy things that might befall us in the mean time.

 

Magazines we read

In my publications design class the other day we had a discussion on magazines. I realized that most of the magazines my professor had brought in as examples of good design were ones that I wasn't really familiar with. It made me think about the purpose of magazines and what makes us want to read certain magazines over others.

I realized that since I've been at college I haven't really read magazines much. It takes a lot of time for one thing, and they're expensive. So, of course I'm not going to read them! But as a kid, my parents subscribed to a few magazines from time to time that I would read or that my mom would read to me when I was little. They included: Baby Bug, Cricket, Ranger Rick, Guidepost, Reader's Digest, National Geographic, Time, The Economist, The Friend, The New Era and the Ensign.

What magazines did you read growing up (or still read)?

Bike rides = bonding

This evening I went on a bike ride with a friend. It was a short little ride, but just what I needed. It was so nice to be outside after being inside most of the day stressing over my assignments and other things. And it was nice to have good company. We enjoyed catching up on each other's lives, observing a herd of deer (I'm pretty sure I counted ten!), and breathing in the fresh air emanating from the groves of fruit trees that we rode past.

My friend observed that bike rides are wonderful things and that she's had some special moments riding bikes with other people. I would have to agree. Some of the most pleasant times that I've had have been spent riding my bike with a friend.

Little Snail

When I got home from work this evening the grass was wet from the rain. It was dark, so it wasn't until I got inside under the dim lights of my basement apartment that I noticed a little friend who had attached himself to my shoe.

It was the cutest little snail I've ever seen: his little snail body so transparent that I could see his internal organs and his shell so delicate that it could have been a thin layer of crystallized sugar.

So, I had to document this little guy before I released him onto the leaf of a tulip plant. I wonder how long it will take him to grow into a big snail. What do snails even eat? And I wonder what he will do in the winter. Maybe he'll stay huddled up in his little shell until he defrosts in the spring? I sure would like to know.

Collecting Things

Today we had an interesting discussion in my print media class on collectors. People collect interesting things. One girl in my class said she collected bones and a boy in my class said he collects hair, of all things!

I realized that I've collected a lot of things over the years, but as a college student who moves around a lot, I've tried not to collect so much. But, since I've been in the design program, I've taken up collecting design specimens, whether it's tags from clothing, letter heads, or pamphlets that I admired. I also have an infatuation with journals. While I was in Malaysia I bought several little journals that had interesting designs from the ubiquitous little paper stores that I'd come across at almost every little shop lot. Whenever I go into a bookstore anywhere I find myself fighting the temptation to look at the journals. However, according to my professor, this is a good thing to collect and he encourages me to continue.

When I was little I collected shells, rocks, leaves, and pressed flowers. I collected stickers and coins. Once I collected Ferrero Rocher wrappers and wadded them up into a ball the size of a baseball at which point no more wrappers would stick. Then I kept a page of the stickers from the wrappers in a little book. I've also collected almost every letter or card I've ever received.

That's a lot of collecting - some of it probably more worth while than others. What do you collect?

Being Alive

Today I was talking to my friend about recreational activities and what it meant to his family growing up to participate in such activities together. His family would ski together, go boating together, hiking, canyoneering, etc. He said that such activities helped his family grow closer. It really is impressive how such activities strengthen relationships.

I can say the same for my family. When you're doing something active you feel good about yourself, you feel healthy, energized and confident. I think those positive feelings about yourself also help you feel positive towards others and naturally that would strengthen any relationship. So, I definitely believe doing recreational activities together is something worth making time for.

It's all about giving

Here's a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that my mom shared with me:

"Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give." 

I've been thinking about that lately - how everything that we do somehow affects others, whether it be for good or bad.

Some may think that design or art has little value compared to other vocations, and I am tempted to agree, but it does have great value in the sense that it improves the quality of life and gives enjoyment, although it isn't always noticed or appreciated.

I'm excited to be going into the field of graphic design to contribute to society by improving visual communication and delighting others with pleasing design.

Celebrate what's right with the world

About two years ago my teacher in the missionary training center showed us this movie and I just loved it so I had to share a clip from it. It really is amazing the difference our attitudes can make. Having a good attitude gives us positive energy that can be directed toward solving problems, whereas having a negative attitude only makes us angry and frustrated and doesn't help solve problems, but rather makes problems seem more daunting and hopeless. By seeing the good in the world, we are better able to confront what's wrong. Positive energy makes all the difference.

Appreciating in Appreciation

This last year I feel like I've grown to appreciate certain things in my life more. Being away from my family for a year and a half on my mission has made me appreciate their company more and the rare occasions when we are all together at once, as was the case this Christmas.

My art history class this last semester helped me to grow in appreciation of art because I learned how to understand it better.

I appreciate the difficult experiences that I've had that have helped me to learn and grow.

I appreciate more the good influences around me, those of my family and friends and good people in general.

Helping my sister take care of her two little kids, a very active two-year-old and a sweet two-month-old, has given me a greater appreciation of parents and the fatigue they must experience caring for children. I've also grown to appreciate the special moments that children provide: their sweet smiles and expressions of love in their excitement to see you and their cute little hugs. I went with my mom and little two-year-old Wally to the nursing home today to visit a friend and it was amazing to see the smiles on people's faces there just from seeing cute little Wally. It made me wish that I had a two-year-old of my own that I could take to the nursing home to brighten people's days.

It's moments like this when I come to appreciate or value something more than I did before that make me feel more awake to the world around me. It makes me feel more alive.

What makes a good day?

"Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it." Margaret Thatcher I agree with this. I feel the most satisfied when I've really accomplished something. Then I can climb into bed feeling good about myself. I think for the most part, we have control over whether a day is good or not, depending on our attitude. My bookbinding teacher shared a quote with us from her mentally handicapped nephew, Jay, who passed away two weeks ago at the age of 24. He would always say "This is the best day ever!" no matter how horrible the day may have seemed to someone else. What makes a good day for you?

Good Things to Come

I love these little videos! They're so good. It was hard for me to pick which one to post.

I liked this one because it relates to some thoughts I've been having lately. I tend to get a little impatient, sometimes, wishing I could have certain things right now rather than having to wait indefinitely for them. But, as I have feelings like that, I keep realizing that I am so blessed right now and I need to enjoy every minute and not wish it away! I need to be patient and realize that those things will come eventually. And they do come! So, it's important not to get too impatient or unhappy while waiting for them.

God's timing for us is always best and there's always a reason things happen when they do.

The last year and a half

I figure there should be some kind of explanation about what I did the last year and a half. But, the task intimidates me, so that's why I've put it off for so long. I just don't think a single blog post could do it justice, so that's why until now I haven't attempted.

Anyway, here goes my attempt at the impossible...

February 2009, Missionary Training Center. I spent two months there learning Indonesian.

May - July 2009 in the cleanest city on earth: Singapore.

I spent the next nine months in Sibu, East Malaysia.

In Sibu I became acquainted with sitting on the floor, riding a bike in a skirt, in the rain, mud and floods and also had the opportunity to meet many wonderful people and to see how the gospel changed their lives.

(Pictured above is a family we taught. They were pretty young and had four kids. Precela and Vijay are bouncing their two youngest children in these slings attached to springs hooked up to the ceiling. Pretty much everyone uses these nifty devices.)

This is Rose, a tiny thirty-something-year-old mother and her shirtless, deaf, five-year-old daughter and their nine-year-old neighbor. Rose is illiterate, but was able to feel peaceful about what we taught her and felt comforted when she prayed at night. She impressed us by going against her mother's wishes and continuing to learn from us and eventually being baptized.

This is Senia, one of the women we taught who was baptized. She cooked this monitor lizard for us to eat. It was actually pretty good.

She also cooked us cuttlefish, dog, and snake.

I spent my last three months in Miri, East Malaysia.

This is how they barbecue chicken: feathers, bones and all.

They pluck the feathers while it cooks.

So, there's the super condensed version! I had other pictures I wanted to upload, but I didn't plan this post very well and it's too hard to rearrange pictures in these posts, so... oh well! It was a great year and a half. I learned a lot and met a lot of amazing people. They didn't have much, but they were happy. And those who accepted the gospel had what was most important.

If you are curious about what we taught people, or even why someone in their right mind would want to go half way around the world to only communicate with their family once a week via email and twice a year via telephone go here. It was definitely one of the hardest things I've done, but also one of the best.

I wouldn't have done it had I not known the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is true and had I not seen the blessings in my life that have come from accepting the gospel and living it.

Enjoying forgotten things

Some things I sometimes take for granted, or forget to enjoy:

• Warm showers
• The actual existence of showers (have you ever thought what a wonderful invention a shower is? There's something wonderful about showers. The shower is my favorite place to think, and I've come up with some of my best ideas while showering.)
  
• The ability to hear well (my appreciation of this was especially acute the last few weeks as my ear was clogged after I had a cold. I couldn't help but think of Beethoven and how utterly devastated he was upon losing his hearing).
• The ability to see clearly (thanks to corrective lenses!)
• The ability to smell and taste nice things (such as fruit and chocolate)
• Pretty much the ability to enjoy a well functioning body (unfortunately that isn't something everyone can enjoy and I never know when that might become the case for me. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I were to somehow suffer an accident that were to take away something as simple as my hearing or the ability to use all of my limbs -- things that I take for granted all the time because I don't usually consider what life would be like without them.)
  

Plea from a pack rat (part II)

When I wasn't making any progress in my attempt to throw things away and I was feeling pretty discouraged, I finally humbled myself and asked my dad for his assistance. If you know how my dad is about throwing things away, then you would know that this was a big step for me, because he throws pretty much everything away. He is the antithesis of a pack-rat.

So, he reasoned with me that I should throw away all my notes from classes and that I should even get rid of old text books, unless I had reason to believe that I would ever be needing them or using them again. He said he saved one text book from his college days that he really liked, but even that he never looked at. His reasoning for getting rid of so much is that we live in an information age where pretty much anything can be found on the internet, or the library, and most textbooks become obsolete within a few years anyway.

So, that helped me to throw away a LOT of notes quickly without even thinking twice or regretting it (I haven't regretted it yet, and I don't plan on it!). It also helped me to get rid of my geology text book which I had contemplated keeping since I had enjoyed that class so much.

Then I came up with a little criterion of my own for throwing away notes to talks at church and devotionals and such. My dad had already convinced my to throw away (or send to the recycling) my Ensigns that I had been collecting, under the reasoning that they can all be found online, hence there is no need for me to be collecting them. When I turned to my notes I thought, I haven't looked over these recently, if at all, and if they meant a lot to me I should have or could have written about them in my journal. So, that enabled me to send them to the recycling without any pain. They have served their purpose, as have the rest of my notes, and must no longer add to my clutter.

When I see how much I have been able to eliminate, I feel that a burden is being lifted. I'm finally accomplishing what I've been wanting to do for so long. It will soon be done with, never to hold me back again, and I will be able to move on to other things.

Some things I wrote down to help me stay on track with my purging:

Simplify
Be brutal
Be realistic
Feel good and don't look back

Nice quote

As I've been going through some old things, I stumbled upon this quote:

"An artist has got to be constantly in a state of becoming." - Bob Dylan

I think that applies to more than just artists.

Plea from a pack rat

Does anyone have advice for making oneself throw things away? I've been going through some old things that I've saved, that some would say without hesitation, throw them out! Burn them! Dispose of them immediately! Rid yourself of such burdensome sentimentality. Such silliness!

But, as determined as I was to do just that before I approached this task, I am now caught in uncertainty and hesitation over questions of whether I might be doing humanity a disservice by destroying valuable personal history.... But, really, I must tell myself to be reasonable! I'm pretty sure humanity will not care that I throw a few letters away... I've done it before. And please be realistic! Humanity, not even my own children, will ever care about this stuff I'm hanging onto.

Ok, so, I think I've built a pretty good case for the trash can.... Let's try this again!

A Greener Map

A friend once told me about a computer game where you have a map, and all the areas where you haven't gone yet are dark, and the areas where you have gone are green. The areas that are dark become green as you explore more areas. She likened this to visiting new places in real life, explaining that it was as if she was filling in more green areas in her mental map. I like this analogy a lot because I can relate to it really well. It creates such a perfect visual image in my mind, not only for the exploring of new physical places, but also for the exploring of new intellectual and spiritual places.

It is amazing to me how much there is to learn. Sometimes I will think, that's it, there's nothing more to learn, but that is because my mind hasn't expanded yet to accommodate more knowledge or understanding. As I get older, I understand things better and I see things completely differently from how I saw them before and I wonder why I didn't understand or notice them before. It's an exciting thing to think that there is so much to learn and to feel that I am becoming more capable of learning it.

It has been exciting in my New Testament class this semester to be learning so much about Christ and to be gaining a better understanding of his life. It's exciting to still be learning more about him, even after having grown up learning about him. It's exciting to read the gospels of the New Testament after having read them before and to be able to find new meanings or ways of understanding them. And then to think that in spite of how much there is to learn from what we have, there is so much more that we don't have and that what we do have is so little in comparison to what we don't have.

As the last verse in John reads: "And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written."

Caught in the Margins

I was talking to my cousin the other day about his frustration over feeling inferior to BYU students. This frustration has been the result of vibes he's been getting from BYU students when they find out that he's a student at UVU. He feels like they look down upon him as being less intelligent or less righteous. This bothered me because as a BYU student myself, I hate to think that people would have negative views of BYU or BYU students. Of course, my cousin made sure I was aware that he loved BYU, but he was just frustrated by the feeling he sometimes gets from BYU students. He said that the most frustrating thing to him was that he had been snubbed by some girls once because of his status of being a UVU student. How sad!

So, when he left and I was feeling less defensive I could see his point of view more and how that would be really frustrating. I would be just as worked up about it if I were in the same situation. And I do get worked up in similar situations, for example, when someone asks about my ACT test scores or whether I have or had a scholarship. It's so frustrating to be subject to prejudices! The thing is, I make assumptions too. I'm not sure there are many people who don't. But, knowing how it feels to be pre-categorized, I would not want other people to feel that way because of me.

In my New Testament class something we've talked about is how Jesus did not judge people according to societal prejudices. He spoke with the woman at the well, who happened to be a Samaritan which was cause to be looked down upon by Jews in that day. She was also a woman, which also placed her lower in society. Yet, despite this, the account of her conversion shows that regardless of one's background, they may be receptive to the gospel, and perhaps even more receptive than someone else who supposedly ought to be more receptive.

Just as Jesus gave that woman and so many others a chance without letting society's prejudices influence his judgment, I hope I can do the same. In my experience I've found that often my first impressions are wrong, and it's exciting to find out that someone is just as much a person as I am and that they aren't so annoying or so unapproachable or whatever it was that they initially seemed to me. It is then that I reallize how silly it is to judge people based on so little information. If those girls had just given my cousin a chance, they would have gotten to know him better and would have realized that he is intelligent (intelligent enough to have gone to BYU had he felt right about it) and strong in his testimony of the gospel. They might have enjoyed his sense of humor and sponteneity and they likely would have found him to be quite a wonderful and delightful acquaintance.

Coming Together, Gathering Sheep

Something that I've thought of several times as I've been thinking about my mission is that missionary work unifies. It's exciting how people all over the world can feel unified in the gospel in spite of cultural and language barriers. I'm excited to learn a new language and share what I love with others. In John 10:16, the Savior mentions that he has other sheep that he must bring and that they will hear his voice and there will be one fold and one shepherd. My grandma mentioned this verse to me as we were talking about my mission and told me that as I am doing missionary work in Singapore, I need to think of the people as my brothers and sisters and to think of them as the other sheep that Jesus mentions. It's exciting to think that I will be helping out in the work of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ -- the work that missionaries have been doing and continue to do. The gospel is not exclusive to one group or one ethnicity; it is inclusive of all because all are God's children. God loves all of his children, as this verse shows, no matter their backgrounds or ethnicity, and missionary work is evidence of that love. It is that love that God has for his children that dwells in the hearts of missionaries, leading them to serve missions. They serve because they feel God's love and they want to share it with others.

A Different Perspective on Nourishment

In Sunday school this last Sunday, the teacher made an interesting analogy. She had us think about what we do when we have lost something and then likened that searching process to how we search the scriptures. Then we talked about how as we search the scriptures more intently through consistent and persistent scripture study, we are able to find deeper meaning in the scriptures and they become treasures to us because of our enlightened understanding. They become treasures in the sense that they gain a more personal meaning as we find ways to apply them in our personal lives.

I was reminded of this analogy yesterday as I read in John 6 about Jesus feeding the five thousand. After they had been fed, the multitude follows him. In verse 26 he rebukes them because they are following him because they had been fed and wanted more food, not because they were interested in his teachings.

Jesus then tells them that rather than seeking after food for the body, they should seek after spiritual food or "that meat which endureth unto everlasting life" in verse 27. He goes on to say that whoever eats of this food "dwelleth in me, and I in him," in verse 56, and that they "shall live by me," in verse 57. Then, Jesus ties up this analogy in verse 63 saying, "It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteht nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are the spirit, and they are life." So, as much as we may think food is the substance of life, the words of Christ are the real substance of life. They give life to our spirits which is more important.

In taking the same approach with my spiritual nourishment as with my physical nourishment, I am able to see how much my spirit is in need of that nourishment. It is an interesting analogy and I think it works really well and is worth giving some thought. I think when I starve my spirit by not reading the scriptures or putting as much effort into studying them, I forget about the benefits of such study that I am lacking, just as if I were anorexic, I might forget how good it is for my body to be nourished by food. In either case, that sate is a dangerous state in which to be.

If you go here, you can read a talk I like by Dallin H. Oaks about nourishing the spirit.